Parental criticism is never helpful. The way our parents speak to us becomes our internal monologue for how we speak to ourselves for the rest of our lives. It impacts the way we see ourselves, the world and the people around us. ā
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The quotation above provides a lovely reminder of how we could try speak to our children like we would to a guest who we would like to visit again – with kindness, forgiveness and understanding. ā
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If your guest forgot their umbrella you wouldnāt say āwhat is the matter with you – youād lose your head if it wasnāt screwed on! Youāre 40 years old – will you ever learn to sort yourself out and be organised?! How is it your sister can always manage to remember things but you canāt?!ā. Weād say āHereās your umbrellaā. ā
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If your guest spilled their drink you wouldnāt say āfor goodness sake, what a mess! Why canāt you be more careful?! Thatās completely ruined now, get out of my houseā. Youād say, āDonāt worry about it! These things happen – we can easily clean that up!āā
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If your guest was late you wouldnāt say āWhat time do you call this?! Iāve been waiting here for hours, your time-keeping is appalling!ā. Youād say, āNot to worry, weāre all a bit late from time-to-time, itās no problem. Is everything okay?ā.ā
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It can be easy to slip into frustration and criticism when weāre stressed and tired but itās important to remember the power of our words on little ears šā
Talk to your children like you would talk to a guest
The Wellbeing Doctor
I'm an NHS Clinical Psychologist (in training) sharing practical evidence-based ideas for looking after your mental and physical health.
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